Love Life

I will survive.

I could ask you a million questions. What did I do wrong? Why don’t you want me anymore? Can’t you at least tell me why you won’t give me the time of day? But I won’t get an answer from you. And that really hurts.

I can still feel your lips pressed against mine, your fingers tangled in my hair, your other hand pulling me closer. I can still taste you on my tongue, and I remember the feeling of your stubble as I rubbed my cheek against yours. I can still smell you on my clothes and the scent of your hair gel on my fingers. I can still remember the look on your face when we first met and the look on your face when I left.

I liked you so much. And maybe that’s the problem. Maybe I wanted you so much more than you wanted me. Maybe you were more important to me than I was to you. Maybe you never even actually liked me or cared about me like you said you did. Who knows?

I could think about this all day. But I know that if I do, I won’t be able to get over you. I’d spend the entire day crying, and I really don’t want to cry anymore. I don’t want to get hurt anymore.

I’m not gonna lie, I have wished that I never met you. I wished that we never spoke. I wished that I never fell in love with you. But I’m also glad I have the memories of the time we shared together. I’m glad I met you. Because you made me feel the happiest I have ever felt in such a long time; and I can’t hate you for that.

I guess this is goodbye. I guess we’re officially over. I guess this is it.

My heart really fucking hurts. But if it’s what you want, then that’s what we’ll do. I may not have been enough for you, but I could have made you really happy.

And just so you know – I am a god damn treasure. And you lucked out. 

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