Love Life · Thoughts

Maybe I am just not enough

So I met this guy. He’s tall, he’s handsome, he’s a real charmer. He can make me laugh so much my insides hurt, but lately he’s been making me cry so much I can’t breathe. We got along pretty well and we were supposed to go on dates and stuff, but he never showed. (Which should have been red flags for me).

I don’t know why I gave him so many chances – he ended up breaking my heart a little more each time. I should have learned by now. I should know by now. But I can’t help but hope, you know? He was the first person to ever call me beautiful, and I wanted to hold on to that. I wanted to hold on to the guy he showed me he could be.

But well, I’ve had it. I’m done. I can’t keep forgiving him and pretending that everything is okay because my heart is literally in pieces and I have no idea how to fix it. I’ve never had my heart broken like this before.

I do have a couple of questions for him. Was I not enough? Did you ever, for even just one second, actually care about me as a person? What was the point in playing with my heart? Was there any truth in any of the things you said to me, or were they all lies? 

So goodbye. I hope for nothing but the best for you. Because even though you just pretended to like me, you made me feel like I was actually worth something. And I’ll never forget that.

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